just found out I am getting a divorce

I haven't really told anyone that my husband moved out. We are getting a divorce. I am sad about it but I haven't been happy in a long time. Here I am 37 single, 3 kids and a full time student. I have no idea what the hell I am doing. I kind of feel like that nobody is going to want me. I hate to say that but I know you guys will understand. Even though I LOOK thin...I am droopy. Not too many men will think that is attractive. I just need advise from all my droopy friends out there that are single. Do men still like you? I hate to be shallow but I'm just scared that I will never find someone and will live alone forever. ( I know I am being dramatic) I am just going through it. It is hard since I quit my job only 6 short weeks ago to go to school full-time. I never thought I would be a single mother again. I feel bad for my two youngest. My oldest is by another man and is living on her own (she is 20) my two babies are going to be 5 & 7 within the next month. Plus today is my husbands birthday. I'm sure he is out having fun and I will always be home with the kids. I can't post on fb since he can see and his family are my friends. this is the only safe place I can post.

Tracy

Tracy, I only met you once at Liz's, but I remember thinking what a beautiful, friendly and nice woman you are.  Any good man would be lucky to have you, I am sure you will not spend the rest of your life alone.  I am a true believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason, you may not realize it right now but you needed to go through whatever you did.  I hope you can start to realize how awesome you are, look at all you have accomplished!

A big fan,

Deb 

Thank You Deb! That was really nice of you to say that. I guess no matter my size I still have low self esteem and really need to work on it. At point, I will attend more cooking classes just to get the support I need so I don't do what I always do when my life is in a crisis....EAT. I hope to see you soon at Liz's and thank you so much for the kind words.

Tracy

Hi Tracy,
I can't answer your question about men, but I can encourage you that divorce is not the end of the world.  I was married for 25 years, and thought I would not be able to function, much less find any joy in life without a man.  I have serious emotional issues that relate to needing a man in my life from childhood.

Point is, in the past nine years, I have found some peace and joy in being on my own.  I would like to have a relationship someday, but I also believe that God is not finished with me yet.  A lot of emotional issues on my side of the relationship caused my divorce, and I am working hard at getting them worked through in order to prepare myself for whatever God has planned for me.

I encourage anyone that goes through a divorce to seek some counseling, especially us WLS peeps.  So much emotional baggage goes into our need for the surgery, it does not hurt to work that through with someone who can help us sort it out.  Plus, self-esteem issues are not that easy to heal when we go through a divorce for obvious reasons.

Hugs,
Trish

Hi Trish,
I have only been married for 7 years and out of those 7 years he cheated (that I know for sure) for a year and a half with someone. I found out before my WLS and begged him to stay. We never really dealt with the emotional part of it and kind of just swept it under the rug. he wouldn't go to counciling and I am a HUGE fan of psychology (I am majoring in OT but psych is my minor). I had a lot of emotional issues regarding the affair but didn't want to be alone. Still don't want to be alone but I was so lonely in my marriage I guess it's not going to be a big difference. Now it's up to me to raise the 2 little ones and that is hard while trying to write papers and do reading for school. I will do it. I will not quit school....I waited 20 years to go back. I am going to see my therapist again...Lord knows I need it.

Thanks for the encouragement Trish and you keep up the good work!

 I just wanted to echo Patricia's post above.  While I am not thin and have never been married, I have had relationships. I have not been involved with a man since 2004 and have had more peace in the last few years than I did in the previous 20.  Feel good about having your children. That's one thing I miss.  Take care and don't forget to pray.

Thank you...I am praying that God gives me the strength to get  up every day and do what I have to do. I know I wasn't happy with him...I guess it's the fear of being a single mother again...did that for 13 years and HATED it. Oh well, at least he is supporting me for the next 4 years until I am done school. I have to give him credit for that at least.

Tracy,

When I met you at Liz's I thought that you were beautful inside and out! If you haven't been happy for awhile then this is probably a positive step in your life. I have been in relationships that I was not happy with and it is just not good for you emotionally. Thank g-d I am with a man who loves me no matter what! But it took years of being in bad relationships to find that man. At the time I didn't understand why I went through what I did, but once I met my husband I understood that I could appreciate him so much more. If a man TRULY loves you, then he will take you flaws and all( we ALL have them!!)

I am so sorry that you are going through this, but I am glad that you posted on here for love and support! We are here for you....
PM me if you want to talk. I know we don't know each other that well, but I am a good listener!!

((HUGS))
Beth

Tracy - take time now with your children and yourself - a man will come along in time and love you for who you are - inspire of the savvy parts. Sending big hugs and many prayers you're way. Stay strong. Kathy

Oops - damn thumb iPhone typing - meant saggy parts altho savvy does seem much better!! Lol!!